Well, friends, it’s time I come clean. As has been obvious from my January stats, I have not been writing my book as faithful as I should – or intended. And it is now day 11 in February and I have written precisely zero words on my book so far. I have a few real-world excuses – bad cold, tired, busy at work – but they are just that: excuses. The real reason I have not written is because I have come to the realisation that my book sucks. The story is stupid, I should have spent far more time planning and plotting and I am now at a junction where I don’t think I want to go on. I need a complete rewrite of the book and just finishing it is too daunting.
As I write all this down, I think of the advice I gave to fellow writers during NaNoWriMo. “Just write through the tough spots.” “Don’t worry about the rewrites, you need to finish the first draft first before you can edit.” “Not writing is worse than writing bad stuff.” And they are all true, it’s just that it doesn’t really help saying it to myself. I find at the moment keeping up with The Angel’s Game read-along tiring enough although I do really enjoy doing it.
So tomorrow I am going to try to get back into my story. The longer I leave it, the harder it will be to get back to it and I do enjoy writing once I am doing it. It’s just getting started that is the hardest.